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Consciously Turning Outward

Shirley Lamontagne Office Manager AdministratorShirley Lamontagne, Director of Administration

After I learned that Pastor Wes was preaching today on “intentionality,” I immediately began to think about what questions or missions would he ask us to consider as a congregation.  As I began to work through my thought process I knew I would have to first define “intentionality.”  The definition I came up with is pretty simple—being purposeful and more deliberate in my actions. 

I was proud of myself for coming up with a definition so quickly.  However, I then realized just how scary this definition was because being purposeful and deliberate in my actions meant I would have to stand ready to engage.  It meant I would have to consciously turn outward and be ready to experience growth.  Now I was not thinking about the definition of intentionality but instead was thinking— how dare Pastor Wes make me feel so uncomfortable?  Then a little voice inside reminded me that it wasn’t Pastor Wes who was making me feel uncomfortable, it was me.  

I calmed down after I realized that that the uncomfortable feelings were derived from my own resistance to the work I would have to do in order to be more intentional.  Pastor Wes only offers opportunities through his ministry, and it is up to me to step up to the plate.  This became crystal clear to me one Sunday morning before Pastor Wes delivered his message.  I casually walked to the table in the back in the sanctuary and signed up for the Creating a Life That Matters class, not even giving it a second thought.  Then, after Pastor Wes delivered his message which included some information about the class, I became very nervous.  All of a sudden I wanted to walk back over, this time not so casually, to the table and remove my name from the sign-up sheet. 

Of course though, I couldn’t get up in the middle of service so I just remained in my seat.  During this time I was able to reflect, and I realized that the nervousness I felt was because of the risk that I would have to take in order to be intentional about my journey.  By the end of the service I was able to shake that nervousness and turn it into thankfulness.  I am thankful that our congregation has someone like Pastor Wes to challenge us.  Sometimes being intentional takes a little external motivation to get us started.  I also learned that the things that make me the most uncomfortable are the exact things that I need to consciously turn outward and engage.

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